you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
