We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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