i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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