420 ftw
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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