I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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