just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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