dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
