He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
