a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
