I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
