I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I had to cum in my sink.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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