he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize