My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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