I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
