i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
