just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wish you could order shots online.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize