you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
