She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
