Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
