if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
