I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Two words: nipple clamps
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