How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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