The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
