you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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