Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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