oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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