If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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