That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize