I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
