Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
