What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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