one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize