i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
