the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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