So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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