Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
