how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
