Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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