i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
