I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
