I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
