so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
