batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
