seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
