you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
time to smoke my breakfast
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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