dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
