Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
