He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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