I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
