I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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