How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
