Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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