she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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