He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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