I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
