Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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