Yo dont text me then not text me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
