OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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