I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
