Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize