i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
