I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
