your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize