im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
