i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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