..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize