It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
